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The Bastards of Tea

A cup of English tea. Two cubes of sugar and a bit of cream. Never pour more than two-third full in a cup. Take the spoon out. DO NOT hold the cup handle with pinkie sticking out, but it must tilt slightly upward for balance. Sip, sip with elegance.

A cup of Oolong or pu-erh tea. Pour. Drink. Pour. Drink. The idea is to wash down the greasy food. Or a small cup of Chaozhou Cha (Chinese espresso), thick, dark, bitter liquid that is Brillo for the guts. Slurp and savor the sweet aftertaste.

Then come the bastards: Hong Kong milk tea thickened with condensed milk; and bubble tea that comes in all colors—drink with a straw, include chewing.

My sister said it’s uncivilized to drink tea in a “to go” cup. She lives in Australia. Things are a little different there. But I’m sure the bastards have made their way down under much faster than the Styrofoam cups.

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