While “no” was not my son’s first word, it was certainly his main vocabulary whenever he encountered parental power. He saw it as a struggle. I saw it as imparting wisdom. He did not want my wisdom.
I don’t think you can influence someone if they don’t want to be influenced. “I’ll break him.” My ex-husband once said, meaning, making my son submit to whatever it was that we desired at that moment. But in fact we were the ones who had to break open and humbled before any kind of communication was achieved.
Compromise is not influence. It is temporary appeasement; useless except to catch a breath. In the end, I think it is more important to just love.
