mind – Clara Hsu

Beyond Fatigue there is a Place

I’m curious about this place, where the mind can no longer exert its control.

Veg-out in front of the TV. The brain cannot function anymore. Too tired. Exhausted.

No! To go to this place I have to push a little. TV or the radio are detrimental to the journey, but a pen and paper will do very nicely. I’m too tired to think that I’m not thinking and too tired to think that I’m writing. In this bleary state words and images seem to float freely in space and they don’t ask anything of me. But many times I have retrieved from thought- fragments to whole poems.

If the mind is fresh after rest then what is at the other end of the spectrum? It is not staleness. Staleness is in the middle, when the mind is bored and disinterested in whatever it is performing. The other end of the spectrum is freedom, and fatigue is one of the keys that can unlock the mind-gate and take me there.

Heart and Mind

fiery heart — The True Color Of Heart by Fiery-Fire

“I change my mind.”

“I have a change of heart.”

Why are these two conditions stated differently? It seems the mind is being controlled by us, as we are able to select from whatever thoughts and ideas that it has formulated to make a decision. But the heart! The heart “sees” and decides, and the change has already happened before we know it. I think that’s why we say follow your heart and never follow your mind.

The heart is a pure source. Like the right peg in the right hole, when they are engaged a new dimension opens up. The heart declares. It doesn’t provide information or analysis. It doesn’t compare and contrast. All that is the work of the mind. Perhaps that is why the mind is in constant conflict.

It is a matter of trust when following the heart. Life will be different, not better or worse; and it will be true—at least for the moment.

In the Moment

As I sit thinking, each moment passes me by. I’m blessed with many moments. Some are dramatic, productive and creative. Most wither away without me giving them a thought. I don’t think one can add all the moments in one’s life and average them out to see if it is a life well lived. And if I keep asking myself whether in this particular moment I’m living to the fullest, I’ll have a nervous breakdown.

The mind makes decisions and accesses situations. The body is dictated by the biological clock. Even if the mind is sharp, the body deteriorates. To accept each moment of being to be totally whole without the baggage of the past is something I find myself working toward.

“We cannot go back.” My step-brother Richard and I discussed over dinner. “Conditions change and we change with them. You cannot put things on hold. It has to be now or never.”

Image by Jooli.