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When Small Gets Big

My father and I began our music business in a basement.  For ten years we were doing quite well, having a comfortable income and relatively stress free.  Then I had all kinds of dreams and ambitions and the basement became annoyingly small.  In 1993 we expanded to include the ground floor of the building.  Since then, it had been an uphill struggle all the way, until I sold the business in 2005.

What was not calculated in my mind was the human costs.  In doubling the space, responsibilities blew up into monstrous proportion.  Solving daily crisis thwarted my energy.  Many well intentioned programs were wasted by the road side.  My income was also compromised.

In retrospect I realized it was my greediness in achievement that had made life difficult for me.  I was not content with my smallness.  Like Icarus in the Greek mythology, and other immediate examples in the news:  the downfall of dictators and News of the World,etc.   And Netflix’s price hike—abandoning a perfectly fine business model and opening themselves to competition—I can almost smell the singed wings…

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Whose Words Were These?

Click image to read more about Xu Zhimo

The vast resource of foreign films and documentaries from Netflix have been both educational and entertaining for me.  I am especially drawn to the ones on artists and writers.  Films like  Black White + Gray, Camille Claudel, Modigliani, Quills, I the Worst of All, Seraphine are historical dramas I eagerly digest.  When Nietzsche Wept is one that stands out among the others.  The movie is full of surprises in the way the director handles the two characters:  Nietzsche and his doctor, Josef Breuer.  But the ultimate kick for me is at the very end, when the two men became friends.  Out of Nietzsche’s mouth came a famous poem that I had translated from the Chinese poet Xu Zhimo, entitled “Chance”.  Now, Xu was born three years before Nietzsche’s death in 1900.  Did Xu lifted Nietzsche’s words, translated it into Chinese and made it his own poem?  I don’t read Nietzsche so I can’t be sure.  Here is the poem.  It has always been credited to Xu Zhimo:

Chance

I am a cloud in the sky/ by chance it casts a shadow in your heart./ Don’t be surprised, or happy,/ in an instant it all vanishes.

We meet at sea, in the night/ traveling in different directions./ You may recall, or perhaps it is better to forget/ the glow when we cross paths.

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